


It's Always Been You

by loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Beach, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Getting Back Together, Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Smut, Technically enemies to lovers, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Weddings, soft angst, written bc i like to procrastinate :3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-03-20 06:19:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18986989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS/pseuds/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS
Summary: “Hey, Lance,” Pidge remarked softly, her heart thundering in her chest as she stared at the man she’d never fully expected to see again. “It’s, uh… it’s been a while.”“Ten years,” he responded at length, something indecipherable growing in his gaze now that the initial shock had worn off. “…Good to see you, Katie.”“Yeah… you too.”OR: Pidge absolutely wouldn’t miss the wedding of her best friend for the world, but unfortunately, that meant she was stuck in a condo for a few days with the ex from a longterm relationship that did not end amicably.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the ideaman came knocking at my door with gifts of angst, and i couldn’t ignore it. besides. why study for an exam that will define my future when I can write fanfic instead lmao x3 
> 
> it’s just something chill I’m not putting too much effort in tho but I hope you enjoy ^^

“I’m telling you, Hunk,” Pidge groaned, cradling her cell phone between her shoulder and ear as she lugged her suitcase out from the trunk of the cab. “By the time the actual wedding day arrives, I’m going to be burnt to a crisp and peeling all over. Those pictures are going to be awful.”

At least it wasn’t super-hot in the evening since the sun was already beginning its descent. She was glad that she hadn’t had to travel in stifling heat.

 _“I’m bringing insanely high SPF sunscreen, so don’t fret. Your freckles won’t take over your face,”_ Hunk responded in amusement. _“I’m surprised that’s what you’re worried about though…”_

Pidge hummed as she shut the trunk. After she’d paid the cabbie, he drove off and she turned to face the rented beach condo that she’d been assigned for the duration of their stay. She remembered her family renting places like this for long vacations long ago. She thought it was pretty cool of Shiro and Keith to have rented enough for all their wedding guests so no accommodation would have to be figured out.

And on the plus side, she was going to be sharing this house with seven other people, one of whom Keith promised would definitely be Hunk even if she ended up housed with some she didn’t know. It was a compromise she was okay with. Apparently there were six bedrooms, two downstairs and four upstairs with two of the ones upstairs being double beds. It would be first come first serve, but Keith had told her that as his de facto best man, he’d made sure she’d gotten the master bedroom of their little beach condo so she wouldn’t have to worry about the battle royale to end up with a room of her own.

_“It’s been like ten years since you’ve last talked to him, right? Think it’ll be awkward? Or that he’ll ignore you completely?”_

“Well, yeah awkward, but I would hope he wouldn’t still be hung up over it. We’re both adults. We can act civil.” Pidge dragged her bag up the small steps leading to the front porch and slotted the key Keith had sent her in the mail into the hole. When she got the oak door open, she walked through it into a comfy living room. “Besides, from what you’ve told me in the past he definitely got over it quick…”

Got over her quick too.

And to this day, it still stung a little, even if so many years had passed.

After all, Lance _had_ been one of her lifetime best friends before they got together and she’d lost both of those relationships in one horrible fell swoop.

Hunk grunted as he set something down that made his bedsprings creak. _“He cried a lot after the breakup too, if that makes you feel better.”_

She snorted. “It doesn’t, but thanks for trying.”

Pidge walked around a bit, looking at the sitting room of the really nice condo. The sitting space had an open view of the beach. On the balcony outside was a drained hot tub, and Pidge could already tell she would be spending a shit ton of time in there. The room itself was perfectly designed, with floral cushions and pillows, straw rugs to add to the aesthetic, and that salty smell of the ocean permeating the room. There was a giant kitchen beside it, with gorgeous black granite counters. The house bar in the den was already stocked up for them and there was even a TV and stereo system, a foosball and billiards table, a table tennis table. The condo was huge, had a lot of space, and everything was well-furnished, which would make for a very comfortable stay.

“I’m not worried about Lance,” Pidge finally said after checking out the arrangement. “I heard from Keith that he has some stuff going on for work and won’t be able to make it to anything but the actual ceremony anyway.”

Honestly, it was for that reason only that Pidge wasn’t feeling particularly anxious. When Keith called her to personally invite her before she got the invitation—and well after all her screaming and celebrating—she’d asked him who else was invited who she would know. His silence for a brief moment had been an immediate stomach dropper.

It wasn’t that Pidge would ever miss the wedding because of _him_ , but she knew it would have definitely been a serious detractor from her enjoyment. But he wasn’t going to be there, so she was a-okay. And she could easily avoid him at the ceremony.

Plus Hunk would be arriving in a few more days. And Pidge had already met Shiro’s best friend before, the wedding planner Allura and the other de facto best man, and though the woman would likely be occupied for the most part, Pidge looked forward to seeing the charming lady again. She was looking forward to seeing some other old friends too.

Pidge would have arrived days later like most of the other guests, but Keith had begged her to arrive on the first day because he apparently would “get hives being surrounded by so many damn bougie motherfuckers”.

 _“That sucks that Lance won’t make it earlier. I would have liked to see him for more than a couple days. It’s been too long since we last partied…”_ Hunk lamented. _“How’s your room? Paint me a picture so I can have sweet dreams tonight.”_

She knew her room was supposed to be labelled as hers, and as she passed the other downstairs room, the door was slightly ajar. Curious, she poked her head in, glancing around to see if one of her roomies was in. There didn’t seem to be anyone in the room though, much less the condo, although whoever had arrived before her had some care and beauty products of all type strewn all over the bed. Whoever this woman was would probably be very high maintenance. Hopefully she’d get a chance to meet her sometime that day.

Pidge continued on her way down the hallway and around the corner towards the back where she finally identified the room she was to stay in.

(It wasn’t that hard considering the card resting on the knob said ‘GREMLIN’S LAIR’).

Pidge pushed open the door with a roll of her eyes and trudged into the room. She almost dropped her phone in shock.

“Holy shit…”

 _“What?”_ Hunk asked, the sound of zipping in the background as he continued packing.

“Hunk, this room is insane.”

It was a gorgeous room that resembled a beach bungalow with a huge bay window leading to a balcony that faced the waterfront and tapered into the sand. There was an ornate decoration of rocks forming a pathway that led directly to the beach and water. The waves brought about a nice cool breeze, and there were little tiki torches lining the wooden balcony and casting a magical glow that only accented the beautiful sunset far in the horizon. And on top of all that, she had a plush canopy bed with beautifully sewn curtains flowing from the gentle breeze. The colour scheme was beige, a soft blue, and teal and was super relaxing.

Attached to her room was a fancy bathroom with a giant Jacuzzi tub and a high tech shower also overlooking the ocean if she so chose to leave the blinds open to enjoy the outside air. It was incredibly spacious, and Pidge couldn’t help but feel like this was kind of a lot for just one person, even though she was spazzing on the inside.

She knew her room would be amazing because _hello_ , super expensive beachside condo, but she’d never expected to get something _this_ spectacular. This was the kind of room she would never herself splurge on, even on a nice vacation to pamper herself. It was simultaneously exciting and terrifying.

Pidge couldn’t help it. She squealed a little and tossed herself on the bed, sinking into the mattress and plethora of pillows. She practically died from the comfort of a proper mattress that supported her spine and pillows so breathtakingly plush and soft they felt like clouds. It was like she was being hugged by marshmallows.

“You know how you could never get your soufflés to stop collapsing back in uni, and then you finally figured it out and got them to stabilise?” Hunk made a noise of understanding and Pidge grinned. “It’s _just_ like that moment you realised it hadn’t deflated and you teared up and stuff. You’re going to _love_ this place.”

 _“I bet.”_ He sighed in bliss. _“Sand in my toes, wind rustling my hair, the soft crash of waves against the shore lulling me to sleep. I can’t wait.”_

“I can’t wait to see you and the others!”

_“Me too! Hey, duty calls. I’ve gotta go feed the twins, but text me tonight how the beach party goes.”_

“Yeah, no problem. Give my regards to Shay, yeah?”

When she hung up her phone, Pidge left Keith a quick text that she’d arrived and that she loved the room. She figured he wouldn’t answer with how busy things were bound to be for him, but she didn’t mind. Weddings like this were always a bustling affair. Matt’s had been too years ago, so she knew Keith would only have enough time to focus on a few things at once.

Honestly, she could have spent the rest of the night just lying on the bed and smiling to herself. But she could hear the music from the little beach party for the guests drifting into her room from down on the private beach, and she decided she should probably make her way down there since the sun was starting to go low. She’d make plans to pitch in to rent a car with her housemates whenever she met them so they could figure out shopping for things they might need to buy or if they wanted to go out and explore the rest of the city. And Pidge _was_ exhausted from the flight, but this was a celebration and not the time to sleep.

She hopped off her bed and made quick work of settling her stuff into easy areas to relocate. Her clothes she’d left in the suitcase for now, but her shoes she arranged in the walk in while her laptop and other important items she locked up in the little chest at the foot of her bed. Once she’d slipped on a quick dress that she deemed okay for a chill beach party, she grabbed her things and headed out of her room to go to the appointed area.

There were a lot of people already milling about, chatting with each other and laughing over cocktails. She knew most of the wedding guests would not be arriving that day, but the number of people already assembled was pretty huge. This really was about to be a giant wedding, and Pidge felt bad for Keith. And Shiro too. She wasn’t that well acquainted with Shiro, but she knew both of them were lowkey guys who weren’t a fan of huge, wild craziness, and this was the antithesis to their interests.

By sheer stroke of luck, she spotted Keith in all of his ethereal beauty near one of the small bonfires conversing with some important looking people. She wanted to call his attention over, but he looked pretty busy and besides, she would have plenty of time to seek him out when he wasn’t so occupied greeting all his guests. He’d mentioned in a recent text that he’d be meeting some of Shiro’s business-y friends and very rich extended family members for the first time and that he wanted to impress them.

(Which she thought was utter bullshit that he even thought he had to do that. Keith was a catch and she knew they would all love him).

Sure, she wanted to hog him for herself, especially since the last time she got to see Keith in person was about a month ago, but she knew he would probably stop by her room sometime in the next couple of days for some good old catching up while gorging on unhealthy snacks. In the meantime, she’d drink a little, maybe schmooze and flirt a bit to relax after her long flight, and then tomorrow, she’d really put in more effort to socialise so Keith wouldn’t worry.

First things first though, she needed a nice fruity cocktail.

There were tons of fancy little open bars littered all over the party area, so she passed a couple groups of talking people and headed towards one that was less crowded. Pidge leaned against the counter, pulling forward the little menu card and glancing at the options. They all seemed to be certain wines and Pidge’s nose wrinkled in distaste. While she didn’t particularly mind wine, she wasn’t really in the mood for it.

“You know, we have other non-wine options if you’re not feeling that,” the bartender said, calling her attention as he shifted in front of her. “I can make anything you’d like. What can I get you?”

“Oh what a relief.” Pidge smiled, remarking as she met the bartender’s gaze that he had beautiful soft brown eyes. “Hmmm, surprise me. Something that’s a little sweet. I’m putting my full trust in you so don’t let me down.”

“Roger that,” he said before sliding over to get to work.

Pidge turned to face the little party, taking in the scenery, and still couldn’t get over the fact that this whole entire strip of private beach where the condos had been rented was reserved for only the wedding party. She couldn’t imagine how much money that must cost, but considering Shiro was the heir of his obscenely rich grandfather’s fortune and had acquired his company, she wasn’t surprised. Every guest having all travel and accommodation expenses paid, a whole portion of the beach reserved solely for a wedding, several bars. Even some of the guests she was seeing screamed old money with their designer outfits. It made Pidge feel completely inadequate and severely underdressed in her simple floral sundress she’d found in the clearance section of a thrift store even.

The itinerary Keith had sent her had said that this was supposed to be an informal cocktail party tonight. But clearly her idea of informal was not the same as the rich peoples’ idea.

“Keith really married into money huh…” she muttered under her breath, gazing around in awe at the sheer opulence of the decorations.

Over extravagance considered, it _was_ still nice.

Pidge couldn’t stand the beach, but the scenery was beautiful and thanks to them choosing a spring date, it wasn’t unbearably hot. Plus being so close to the ocean was bringing a soft breeze that kept the air reasonably warm. Tents with flowing white drapes, the entire area illuminated by the lights strung along trees and wooden posts. And though they couldn’t have their destination wedding in Shiro’s birth city in Japan like they’d wanted to, they’d made sure to stick to the cherry blossom theme, and the result was breathtaking. It looked this gorgeous at night. She couldn’t imagine how much more beautiful it would look during the day.

But Keith deserved this.

He was so lucky that he’d found Shiro three years ago by chance, when the man had forgotten his briefcase and cellphone in a cab Keith had later taken. They’d met up at a coffee shop to return the items, and somehow ended up on some sort of three hour date.

And the rest was history.

Pidge could still remember Keith’s detailed regaling of the story of Shiro’s proposal when he’d taken him to meet his immediate family, and how despite the disapproval from many of them for not having prestige to his name, Shiro fiercely protected and defended him. They made each other so happy, and from what Pidge had heard from Allura, before Shiro met Keith, he’d been a lonely workaholic with a dull life. And she knew before Keith had met Shiro, he’d been miserable, unable to find inspiration for his paintings because he felt his life was so grey.

It was a romance made for the movies, and while Pidge herself had once upon a time wished for a romance like that, she was glad if either of them got to experience that, at least it was Keith.

“Alright, here we are,” the bartender said playfully with a wink as he slid a fruity pink cocktail with a maraschino cherry across to her, making sure the folded napkin that served as a coaster remained underneath. “How do you feel about Sex On The Beach.”

“It’s great.” Pidge gave him a small, racy smile back as she picked up the drink. “I always enjoy it.”

He looked quite pleased with her response, but their brief flirting was interrupted when he had to take care of another guest who had ambled up to the counter. Pidge nonchalantly picked up the napkin as she moved from the bar, and when she unfolded it, she was pleased to see he’d scribbled his number on it.

Sure she was supposed to be focused on Keith and Shiro, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have a little fun on the side. Nothing wrong with a short fling for the time she’d be here. Plus, the bartender was cute and tall, and she wanted to climb him like a tree.

“Ha. Still got it,” she said smugly to herself as she took a sip of her drink.

A loud, ditzy giggle trailed in her ear from nearby, and Pidge winced from the tone. People got loud and rambunctious with alcohol, and she wasn’t a particular fan of being surrounded by that kind of behaviour. Maybe she’d take a small walk along the water to familiarise herself with her surroundings until it was late.

“You are _so_ funny,” the ditzy girl giggled again, something high pitched and screechy. “And you’re _so_ cute. How does your girlfriend keep her hands off you?”

And Pidge was gearing up to move away because the conversation made her want to barf, but then she heard it:

“If you wanted to know if I was dating someone, all you had to do was ask.”

A cold dread seeped under her skin—definitely _not_ caused by the breeze blowing in the air—and made her freeze.

She _knew_ that voice.

That low flirtatious drawl from a mellow voice she could recognise anywhere. A voice she hadn’t heard in ten years but still set her pulse alight even after all this time. A voice that she was _not_ supposed to be hearing right now because he was _not_ supposed to be here. She turned fully to the couple, and sure enough, standing right there, right near one of the torches, flirting closely with one of the cute guests was none other than Lance McClain.

It took Pidge a couple seconds to register that she was actually seeing Lance in person after a decade, but once it did, her once dissipated anxiety took root in her chest and spread fast. A whole beach full of people and somehow she’d run right into the very last person she ever wanted to see. She didn’t know if something was out to get her or what, because Lance started looking around as he sipped his own drink and somehow he glanced in her direction and somehow his gaze fell on her.

A chill went down her back when their eyes met.

She was sure the slow surprise growing on Lance’s face was mirrored on hers.

Pidge wanted to move, wanted to blink, wanted to turn around or do something— _anything_ —other than gape at Lance like an idiot, but her feet wouldn’t let her. Ten years he’d been out of her life, and now unexpectedly, all of a sudden he was back.

“You…”

His bewildered comment snapped her out of her temporary stupor and Pidge ran a hand through her hair with an awkward chuckle.

“Hey, Lance,” Pidge remarked softly, her heart thundering in her chest as she stared at the man she’d never fully expected to see again. “It’s, uh… it’s been a while.”

“Ten years,” he responded at length, something indecipherable growing in his gaze now that the initial shock had worn off. “…Good to see you, Katie.”

“Yeah… you too.”

What in high hell was he doing here?!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone else had to work on christmas and eve lol? the misery 
> 
> (29.12.19: update 1/2)

“Weed and a bottle of booze. Prom doesn’t get any better than this,” Lance joked, taking a hit from his joint as he watched a plane pass across the sky. “Well, except there’s no _nice_ girl next to me.”

Pidge rolled her eyes goodnaturedly, pulling her knees up to her chest and being careful not to snag the charmeuse train of her green dress along the harsh tiles of her roof. It was a little breezy tonight, but the warmth of the champagne settling in her belly and her slightly loopy head made it easy to ignore.

“Lance, cut it out. If one of my neighbours sees you, I’ll get in so much trouble with my mom.”

“Fine.” He took another long hit, releasing the smoke in a little hoop, and then put his joint out, licking his fingers and rolling them over the butt to kill the embers. “So, all things considered, how do you rate your first ever prom?”

“Present company notwithstanding,” she snarked, “it wasn’t bad. Would have been more fun if I knew more people at my school, but none of the people I’ve befriended went so…”

And maybe Pidge wasn’t hamming it up at some after party hosted by one of the popular kids, but she was pretty satisfied with her evening. Prom had been outrageously fun thanks to Lance. And chilling on the roof of her house, stars and moon illuminating the night sky, getting drunk next to one of her best friends in the whole wide world was infinitely more fun than standing by the wall taking bored sips of punch while watching dumbass classmates she hated at her Catholic prep school basically have sex with clothes on in one of the rich kids’ squished living rooms.

“Hey, what happened to that Keith guy you’re always telling me and Hunk about?”

“He went hiking with his mom this weekend. Some kind of bonding thing they do on the anniversary of his father’s death. But he would have gone to our prom if he could.” Lance nodded as he took the champagne bottle from her hand to take a swig. “You know, he’s also going to Altea U in the fall. You guys should hang out. I think you’d be great friends. He could be your new Hunk since Hunk’s leaving across the country.”

“Eh. Sure, whatever. No one can replace my Hunky Bear though.”

“Keith does the whole weed thing too…”

“My kinda guy!” Lance responded, much more enthusiastically this time. “Send me his number. We can hang this summer too.”

Pidge eyed him in fake disgust. “Urgh. Don’t become a college stoner, Lance.”

“Unavoidable when you’re a partier like me.”

“Jesus…” She watched as a car sped down her street, engine revving loudly as they likely tried to bypass traffic on another road. “What happened to the cute, sweet, Prince Charming Lance who wanted to pick dandelions for his adorable playground wife?”

“Prince Charming?” He smirked behind the rim of the champagne bottle as he took a sip. “Do you see me as your Disney prince?”

She nudged him, hard, and he choked and sat up abruptly when he almost spilled on himself. It dripped on the roof, just barely missing his shirt, and when he inhaled and exhaled slowly and raised a brow at her, she cracked up. Lance wiped his mouth with his dress shirt’s sleeve, still coughing a bit to clear his throat.

“What happened is my _adorable_ playground wife turned into an incorrigible little gremlin,” he grumbled, before sitting up fully. “I don’t think you understand how much of a gremlin you are.”

“So they all say.” She smiled to herself, messing with a leaf caught on a tile by their legs. “Don’t you have some family church thing going on early tomorrow morning? It’s almost midnight.”

“In a hurry to get rid of me?” Lance snorted. “I probably should head home soon. Still have a history final next week to study for.”

“Aren’t you graduating? I thought seniors didn’t have to take finals.”

“Didn’t exempt,” he said wryly.

“See what happens when you fuck around and cut class?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t benefit. I brought you lunch most of those times. I think hella thanks are in order.”

She shook her head, grabbing the bottle right from his hands before he could take a sip. Lance made such a stupid high pitched noise of affront that she had to quickly set the bottle down before she spilled on herself when it made her laugh.

“Anyway, I don’t really care if I fail the exam. I’m already in college. As long as I don’t fail the class, it won’t affect the decision. And I already calculated that the lowest exam score I can get to still pass is a fifty.”

“Why do you take risks like that? You should take things more seriously.”

“I have my priorities. School is not one of them,” he said, growling playfully at her when he reached for the bottle and she held it away. His eyes danced with a warning, and then she handed it over quickly because she knew his next course of action would be much more aggressive. And she wasn’t in favour of him sitting on her back again. Or worse: tickling her. “But helping my best friend whose date bailed is. And you should be glad I’m here too, because if I hadn’t gone, Hunk and I would have gone to his house and TP’ed it or put bags of flaming dog shit all over the front porch. Probably would have gotten arrested.”

“My knights in shining armour.”

Pidge eyed him with a smile as he took another swig from the bottle. She didn’t need them to be her knights, but she supposed that was a consequence of growing up with best friends like them. She really was glad that she’d been able to hang on to her longtime friendships with the two, even when her parents had enrolled her in a private academy for high school. Pidge wasn’t the kind to make very many friends, but those two were absolute keepers.

Especially Lance, who always dropped everything for her when she needed him, spent so much time cheering her up and getting them into crazy antics, and always made her smile. Not many people had such an intense effect on her heart, but Lance did in a way no one else ever would. She’d figured out why years ago, when he’d “borrowed” his brother’s car and shown up at the end of her first day at her new school to pick her up and take her to an arcade. She would never forget that day. It’d been an awful day, lonely, and annoying to boot, and seeing his face had made her so immeasurably happy she’d known at that moment he wasn’t just a goofy friend to her anymore.

“Have you figured out where you’re applying next year? Or where you wanna go?”

“Altea U,” she said with no hesitation. “How else am I supposed to torment you every day?”

Lance snorted, lifting the bottle up to see how much was left. “You could go anywhere with your grades. Can afford it too.”

“Yeah but…” she muttered, tapering off as her cheeks flushed. “ _Anywhere_ doesn’t have you.”

He was such a huge part of her life in so many ways that she couldn’t fathom being so far away from him for four years of college.

Lance had an odd smile on his face. “You’ll regret it if you give up your dreams to follow me to Altea, you know? I’ll always be your friend, no matter the distance.”

“What dreams? I love aerospace engineering, but I haven’t even finished high school yet. If anything, my only current dream is getting to stay by your side…” She swallowed hard, bracing herself. No guts, no glory. “As your girlfriend.”

Lance went still, and suddenly, Pidge became acutely aware of the cool night chilling her bare shoulders, of the press of his legs next to hers, of Lance’s soft breaths. She held her breath, wishing her stupid flaming face would settle down.

“…So you were serious.” He turned to her, his gaze soft on her when their eyes met, all traces of his humour subsiding as his brows furrowed. “On your birthday, after you kissed me, when you said—”

“I’m not sure why you thought my confession was a joke, Lance.” She shrugged, her neck flushing deeper the longer Lance’s gaze remained on her.

She snatched the bottle from his hands and guzzled down what little was left, hoping that occupying herself with a task might ease up some of the growing tension.

(It didn’t).

“Because you— well, I mean, like a minute later you said ‘just kidding, pal’ and punched me in the arm. I had my suspicions, but what was I supposed to think?”

“It’s because after I told you, you didn’t say anything and I got nervous!”

“Katie…” Lance sighed, running a hand through his hair. Pidge’s stomach plummeted and she stared at her lap, her heart slowly starting to twist itself into a knot. Sweat was gathering under her arms as she anticipated the possible heartbreak she was headed towards. “You sprung it up on me kind of out of nowhere. And then you went all nutty and freaked out and took everything back. You can’t blame me for not understanding.”

“I’m not good with feelings. You know that.”

“Then… if you’re serious about confessing, I have a serious question too.” He shifted so he was facing her, the indecipherable gleam in his eyes making her apprehensive. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you like me? I mean, we’re complete opposites. Amazing girls with your kind of ambition don’t usually end up interested in guys like me.”

She didn’t get how he could possibly not understand what made him such a catch. Lance was an idiot a lot of the time and he could really be a jerk sometimes, but he was one of the best, most loyal people she knew. His ex-girlfriends hadn’t been the greatest people either, but they’d clearly understood what it was about Lance that made _him_ so amazing. Pidge knew she’d started liking him for those reasons too.

Because he made her laugh. Because he was always thinking of her and supporting her even when she acted like a little turd. Because he could cheer her up without fail whenever she was sad. Because he gave her her first real kiss when bullies picked on her for that in middle school. Because he went to school halfway across the city and still drove all the way to her so he could take her out to eat or to concerts or the fair and she never had to ask.

That night too, when he’d dropped everything on his agenda when she’d told him her date couldn’t go to prom anymore, dressed up, and showed up at her door, corsage in hand, and told her he’d be her replacement date. Even though they’d had a weird tension for a month at this point.

He could always read inside her heart in a way no one else could, and as someone who’d been misunderstood a lot of her life, having someone innately _get_ her was something she treasured.

“There’s no one else I have as intense or deep an emotional connection with. There’s no one who makes me feel like this. Like I’m everything to them, even though I’m this weirdo, know-it-all nerd. Like I matter first in someone’s life. And you matter first in mine. I don’t care how you behave. You have a huge heart. And you’ve been my safety net since we were kids. I can’t ever imagine not having you around.” Once the words started, she couldn’t get them to stop. She gathered up her courage and lifted her head to face him directly even though she was blinking back tears, frightened of his response. “And I don’t want this to mean the end of our friendship, but I’ve liked you for years, Lance. No matter what happens, thank you for being there for me tonight. And not just tonight, but every year we’ve been friends. I’m sorry if my feelings are a burden, but I have them. And I have them for you.”

Pidge fell quiet, sniffling a bit, her hands trembling the slightest bit as she waited for Lance to respond. She’d said her piece, and now it was up to Lance. If this was the end of their relationship, it would break her heart, but she’d told him. And she was proud of herself after holding her feelings back for three years.

“It’s not a burden,” Lance responded, head cocked a bit to the side. “I get it. Catching feelings for your best friend sucks.”

“Tell me about it.”

He looked amused. “Especially when they’re oblivious for so many years.”

“Preaching to the choir—”

“Katie.” Lance tucked the loosely coiled tendril of hair framing her face behind her ear and stroked her cheek. Her eyes roamed across his face, warmth flooding her from the calm comfort of his expression. “Listen to what I’m saying.”

His words didn’t sink in at first. She was a little confused what he meant, until she realised what he’d just said to her. The corner of his mouth pulled up in a small smile when her brows shot up her forehead and she snapped her gaze to his.

But she didn’t have a chance to respond because past his shoulder, she spotted her mother’s car turning on their street.

“ _Shit_. My mom’s home early; we need to get off the roof!”

Pidge grabbed her heels and Lance’s discarded shoes and tie while Lance hurried to snatch up his suit jacket and the champagne bottle. Together, they scrambled to climb further up to the round window to get back into the attic. Lance was full on howling with laughter through the entirety of their tipsy struggle to get in the window, especially when her foot got caught on the ledge and she went sprawling inside. She kicked at him angrily while they practically jumped down the hatch of the attic to the second floor landing, and Lance pushed it back up, clicking it in place just in time for Pidge to hear the front door shutting and her mother’s keys landing on the table nearby.

“Katie, that you? Did you have fun at prom?” Colleen called out from the bottom of the stairwell. “And whose car is that in the driveway?”

“Yeah, it was great! I’ll show you the pictures in the morning.” Pidge leaned over the banister, waving down at her mom in greeting though her heart was racing from the mad dash. “And it’s Lance. He borrowed his dad’s so we wouldn’t break down on the highway. We’re just chilling in my room.”

“Alright,” she responded at length, eyeing them with suspicion when Lance came up beside Pidge and waved cheerfully. “…Door stays open, yeah?”

When her mom walked on to her office, Pidge turned around with a huffed sigh, tossing the stuff in her hands in a random corner of her cluttered room as she walked in. She forwent turning on her main light and plugged up her fairy lights. The corsage on her wrist, she carefully removed and set on her desk. Lance walked in behind her, dumping the stuff in his hands by her desk. She glanced over her shoulder at him, chewing on her lower lip and unsure what to say. The silence unnerved her. There was a room’s distance between them but it felt much larger for some reason.

He slipped his hands in his pants pockets, his expression largely blank even through his levity. “…I should probably head home now. Your mom still thinks I’m some rowdy imbecile who’ll corrupt her daughter.”

“You kind of are.” She halfheartedly played along, scratching at her itchy wrist. “I mean, it’s your fault for crashing into her favourite garden gnome and breaking his head off. General Gnome was a treasured family heirloom.”

“I was _seven_ , and I just learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, damn. You’d think she’d get over it by now.”

Pidge chuckled, though the humour didn’t reach her in full.

She was disappointed. They’d never actually finished their loaded conversation and she didn’t want them to end up leaving this topic undiscussed or unexplored. Plus the night kind of felt like it was just beginning and her heart was still dancing wildly in her chest and she felt too restless from the alcohol to leave things like this. It’d taken her a lot to tell him the truth. This couldn’t just be the end of the conversation.

_Guess the magical night is over…_

“I want out of this stupid dress.” And then she could finally take down this complicated hairdo. Her hair felt like it was going to go crispy with all the gel and spray that had been used to keep the curls piled on her head. “Help me unzip?”

Lance walked up to her back quietly, and the brush of his fingers on her skin as he slowly tugged down the zipper made goosebumps rise on her neck and arms. She could feel the heat from his body, but above that, the weight of his gaze scorching her.

“I know I already said it, but you really do look beautiful tonight.”

“…Lance, what are we doing?” she answered quietly.

“Probably avoiding the conversation that will change our friendship forever if we go down this road.” His hand stopped tugging the zipper at the bottom, but he didn’t step back. “But I promised myself if we ever got here someday, I’d tell you the truth that I want us to be together too. Nothing would make me happier, Katie. The feelings I have for you are pretty serious. More serious than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone else.”

Pidge felt lightheaded, like blood was rushing everywhere except her brain.

“I don’t know if it’s a bad idea, but… I’m pretty sure I know where I want us to head. And I’m actually certain you’re The One for me. I have been since junior high.” He let out a somewhat nervous chuckle. “Last chance to run away now, I guess.”

She felt it too. She knew it could be dangerous too.

Still…

“I don’t want to run,” she whispered.

Lance’s hand curling around her wrist sent electricity crackling up her skin, his touch burning her. A heavy silence hummed restlessly through the air, her stomach coiling, and yet Pidge didn’t fight him when gently implored her to look at him. She turned around slowly to face him, heart lodged in her throat the whole while.

And the moment she met his gaze, she knew there was no going back.

Even though she couldn’t read what was in his dark eyes or in the shadows of his expression, even though she couldn’t fully define it, her heart knew.

Lance’s hold on her tightened for a moment, and she stepped into him, their gazes locked, her heart stuttering so heavily in her chest she was certain Lance could hear it too. He leaned down, closing the distance between their lips. Gentle, but sure.

Pidge’s eyes fluttered closed, her hands sliding up his chest to fist his shirt, lips parting to his and trying to show him she wanted to be with him just as much as he wanted to be with her. She didn’t care if they were being a little crazy. She knew what she saw in Lance, what she saw and wanted in her future with Lance, and he wanted it too.

That was reason enough for her.

Heat rushed through her body, her knees weak when he sank a hand in her hair, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. She was pretty sure her heart was catapulting out of her chest and she clung to Lance, sighing into his mouth when he pulled her closer, hand sliding across her back to hold her against him. He tasted like the sweet peach champagne and residual smoke, unfamiliar, yet so addicting. And so, so right.

She grew lost in the heat of his body and his mouth from the pervasive kiss, his hoarse groan from the back of his throat, the way his hand trailed along the naked skin of her back, just drifting over the edge of her panties, the way he nipped at her lips, the touch of his tongue stroking hers. They hardly broke apart to catch their breath, far too caught up in each other, unable to get enough of the other. She wound her arms around his neck, rising to her tiptoes, her thoughts growing muddled when she felt his burgeoning erection bump against her. Pidge rubbed against him, relishing the hitch of his breath as he gripped her waist tight.

And the kiss descended into something else entirely. Intoxicating. Heated.

Desperate.

Desire bloomed intensely under her navel and when a full bodied shudder went through Lance when she pressed up against him again, Pidge knew whatever _this_ was had changed. He broke away, eyes a little wild, his breath coming out in short pants as he searched her gaze. They had never been more on the same page than now.

When she tumbled back on her bed, Lance’s weight pressing her into the mattress, arms braced on either side of her, when he rucked her dress up, when his shirt came off, when she hooked her legs high around his waist, they both knew exactly what they wanted here and now. He slid his mouth over hers, the hot, provocative kiss driving her slowly more insane along with each pass of his fingers along her most sensitive spot.

And when he pushed inside her, slow, inch by perfect inch, his name escaped her lips in a broken gasp, and she knew there really was no turning back.

Part of her was scared it was too much, too fast, but the other part was too frazzled and lost in the heat of Lance inside her, his low growls, the absolutely overwhelming ecstasy of the marriage of their bodies through each hard thrust. Every time he pulled away, she felt like she was soaring and every time he slammed back inside, she couldn’t hope to catch her breath. He panted heavily against her neck and she moaned softly, head tilting back, legs trembling, body growing overheated.

It was a little clumsy, some uncertainty on both their parts on what to do with their hands and lips and bodies, and their sloppy rhythm made them both laugh, and it kind of hurt, being stretched like that for the first time, filled so completely, but it didn’t matter when she could share this with Lance. When she could lose herself to the tender way he peppered kisses along her throat and shoulder and chest, as if trying to imprint himself on her skin. When his fingers trailing over her left her skin on fire, flushing from the gentle caresses.

She’d never felt closer to him.

“Lance,” she breathed out, desperate, and he lifted his head, a warm smile on his lips as he gazed down at her. “I… _unhh_ , _Lance_ …”

He gripped the covers beside her, leaning down to close his mouth over hers and she whimpered, clutching his back, nails digging into his skin, trying her hardest not to cry out every time he rocked back inside her.

Deep down, she knew she was being rash, like jumping off a ledge without knowing what lied at the bottom, but if Lance was with her, she’d gladly fall.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (29.12.19: update 2/2)

Lance McClain.

In the flesh.

And despite their tumultuous history or their former friendship, she had no idea what to even say beyond a general greeting. And based on the way his face couldn’t quite settle in its expression, she had a feeling he was in the same boat.

There were a thousand words in his gaze and she understood zero of them.

A reminder of the loss of their closeness, she supposed. She hadn’t even realised how much she’d missed even seeing his face until now, standing right in front of him. Time dulled the pain of losing contact with him, but that didn’t mean the ache in her chest ever left. And the more years went by, the more she lamented losing such a strong, constant fixture in her life.

In all her years of imagining a possible reunion with Lance, she’d never really thought it would be like _this_ , taken off guard at a friend’s wedding while he was in the middle of flirting. Last time they’d ever been civil with each other was when his grandmother had passed away, and well, that had ended with her fuming as she’d yanked on her clothes. Had ended with him staring up at her from his soiled carpet, hair in disarray, that youthful exuberance in his countenance shattered by the brutal way she’d shut him down: words that had ripped away any possible hope of them reconciling at all.

And it was strange how he was _Lance_ , and yet, not. Older. Voice deeper. Taller. His hair longer, mussed curls at the ends. The trim beard. Decidedly _not_ twig lanky anymore.

Ten years was a really long time to go without knowing much about someone, seeing much about them, hearing much about them…

But everything about him still seemed the same, right down to the dancing eyes and the always mischievous edge to the infectious smile that pulled up the corners of his lips. And her heart gave a startled thump in her chest. It was like a montage of every stupid memory of their relationship filled her head, reminding her yet again that she’d spent some of the best years of her life with Lance. Unforgettable years that she could never truly let go of in all this time.

Pidge couldn’t help but think of more serene days when she’d spent lazy Saturday evenings cuddled up on the couch of Lance’s dorm suite, their lips lazily attached more often than not while the movie played long forgotten in the background. Days when they’d walk each other to classes, fingers laced, their devotion to each other unquestionable.

Times when if asked what she envisioned in her future, above anything else, she would have said Lance, unfailingly.

And here they were, ten years later, so estranged, a world of distance between them.

Lance seemed to snap out of it first, though from the odd twist of his mouth, he wasn’t exactly comfortable carrying the conversation. “Umm, how have you been?”

“Good. I’ve been good. Nothing to complain about.” She scratched a hand through her hair, wetting her lips with a small, strained smile. “Uh, you?”

“You know. Same. No complaints here.”

They stumbled into a terse silence as they stared at each other, though Lance’s face was stricken with a strange emotion. She got the sense that he likely was running through their last horrible fight the moment they’d both decided they had to erase each other from each other’s lives. Or maybe he was remarking how much she’d changed or what he remembered being the same. But the silence was deafening nonetheless, and she felt wholly awkward standing there taking idle sips of her drink and avoiding eye contact.

What exactly was she supposed to say? It wasn’t like they’d parted on the best of terms. And she knew virtually nothing about the life he’d led in all this time because she’d actively made an effort to cut him out, despite all their mutual friends. She had no idea who he was now, and she was certain he had no idea who she was.

“I’m sensing a bit of history here…?” the ditzy woman Lance had been talking to uttered slowly, looking between the two of them in confusion.

“Uhh, Katie’s an old, uh, friend. I guess,” he responded uneasily. “Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Okay! Well, I’m just gonna grab another drink. Come find me when you’re done, Lance.”

He hardly reacted to his flirt partner walking off, his eyes never leaving Pidge, and she kind of wished she still knew how to read him so she could tell what was going through his mind right now.

“So what have—”

“I heard you—”

They both quieted abruptly, the air between them even more stilted than before as they waited for the other to finish their statement. It was really quite sad, actually. They’d been together for five years—friends for a little less than three times that amount of time—and had lost that connection that made them click so well in the first place.

Lance cleared his throat, chuckling to himself as he scratched his cheek. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

“I was just going to say you look great, by the way.” She waved her hand nonchalantly. He did look good. Handsome. Scruffy in a sophisticated way. “Suit is a nice touch.”

He loosened up his tie with a grimace. “Overdressed and hating every second of it. It’s too hot for this.”

“Better than me.” Pidge snorted, gesturing to her entire outfit, and she briefly caught Lance’s gaze drift down her figure before he looked abruptly away. “I didn’t pack right either. Keith should have warned me better.”

“He could have been trolling you,” Lance pointed out, taking a sip from his cup. “Classic Keith.”

“Classic Keith,” she agreed, lifting her cup a bit in a fake toast.

Lance nodded, shifting his gaze to the sand between their feet, though he didn’t immediately respond.

A pair of softly laughing guests walked by them and Pidge occupied the uncomfortable silence by looking at some of the fancy duds of the guests. She could kind of tell which of the rich guests were rolling in dough versus which ones had money trees in their backyard. The distinction was subtle, but it was there. The more garish the outfits, the more she assumed new money.

“So Hunk mentioned once that you’re a software engineer for a branch of NASA, right?” Lance finally said, to her relief.

“Oh. Yeah. Kind of feel like nepotism played a role in me becoming a project manager so young though.”

“You’ve always been super intelligent. I’m sure you got it through your own merits, Katie,” Lance responded, a genuine praise she hadn’t expected from him.

The distance was clear with the way he chose to address her with though. Pidge, she didn’t expect anymore. And he used to call her Katie too, but in specific intimate settings, mostly when she’d wake up to his hoarse, gravelly voice and smiling lips brushing the shell of her ear.

All she could feel from it now was cold, but congenial indifference. The way one might address a stranger they just met. She wanted him to call her Pidge again, wanted to feel some semblance of their former camaraderie because the way he’d always said her name was engrained in her mind as special.

“…Thanks.”

“Seems like a pretty amazing job,” he said nonchalantly enough, though he was distracted, looking past her shoulder and around them like he wasn’t really that interested in investing in their conversation. “Hard work paid off.”

“You deliver babies though, right?” She changed the subject, swirling her two mini straws around her plastic glass. “I think it’s amazing that you just decided to become a doctor and went for it and now look at you.”

It was mindboggling. Lance had always been a pretty flighty, laissez-faire kind of guy, while she was the one stuck in rigid expectations. Now she worked a job with occasional unstable hours that cut into evenings or weekends and travelled often to different branches and sometimes she didn’t sleep at all or didn’t work at all while Lance presumably would be by-the-books and stuck in patterns and settled in one place.

“Yeah. Got my life together thankfully.” Lance took a sip of his drink, but said nothing else with regards to that. When she glanced at his face, the tightness of his jaw told her something about what she’d said had obviously bugged him. “Hunk told me once you were dating someone seriously. How’s that going?”

The unexpected—and quite frankly intrusive—question nearly made her glower at him, but she chewed on the inside of her cheek to keep from reacting. From what she could tell, he didn’t seem like he was being antagonistic. But addressing _this_ particular topic was dangerous for them both.

“Broke up a while ago.” Pidge had had a handful of boyfriends, some longer lasting than others, all ending with them claiming she was kind of cold. So there was no way she would tell Lance. “We’re still friends though.”

“Guess it wasn’t that serious then,” he said, almost glibly, the look on his face flat as he finished off his drink.

 “…I heard from Hunk you got engaged two years ago.” It came out a bit spitefully, insensitive in some ways, but she didn’t see how she couldn’t bring it up considering he’d brought hers up. “Still together?”

She knew the answer to that, of course, but she was annoyed that Hunk had told Lance about her relationships. And annoyed Lance had even brought it up in the first place.

“Didn’t take.”

“That sucks,” she said without affect, adopting the same flat look he had. “Sorry.”

He shook up the ice in his cup a bit and poked them with his straw. “Things wouldn’t work out in the long run anyway. She kept claiming I was too emotionally unavailable. Got sick of that shit.”

“Were you?” Pidge asked before she could catch herself.

It took every ounce of her self-control not to grimace. From the pinched look on his face when he looked up, she knew this conversation had gone too far and lasted far too long. This was a touchy topic bound to dredge up old, unresolved wounds. But her curiosity had been peaked because the Lance she remembered was the most emotionally open person she had ever known. One might say _too_ open.

“Maybe… I don’t see a point in putting so much of myself in a relationship anymore. But I did my best to be as much for her as I could and it wasn’t enough. Story of my life, I guess…” Pidge’s brows drew down as she met his gaze again, and somehow wasn’t even surprised to find Lance staring down at her pretty intensely, hints of a sneer turning down the corners of his lips. “Just a little inside joke I like to tell myself now and again.”

His polite smiles from earlier were definitely gone.

Nothing about his tone had any remote traces of humour. The edge in his voice was a definite sign of him fixing to pick a fight. She’d been with him for a long time, and yearlong distances or not, she was pretty adept at understanding his modes of conversation. That didn’t seem to have changed at all.

And she understood this one loud and clear.

Her hand went to her cocked hip, a vexed brow raising. “If you have something to say to me, Lance, why don’t you stop with the passive aggressive bullshit and just say it?”

“There’s no reason to rehash bygones, is there? I got my answers years ago,” he remarked loftily, the smug indifference in his voice an immediate irritant. “You told me you wanted no future with me. So I moved on.”

She should’ve known.

“Wow. So that’s where we’re at then. Ten years running, huh? And now you’re blatantly spewing falsities. Delusional. Just like always.”

Something angry flashed in his gaze for a moment, but it disappeared almost as quickly. He chuckled, shaking his head like she was utterly ridiculous.

“It was always the same with you then and it’s still the same with you now. Not sure why I’m surprised,” Lance said none too kindly, a small feral smile on his lips with absolutely no warmth. “You know, I was actually hoping we could run into each other in all this time. I can finally express my gratitude.”

“Okay…” If there was _one_ thing she definitely remembered about Lance, it was that infuriating smugness he’d always adopt during arguments, when he thought he _won_. “Humour me—what exactly are you grateful for?”

“Well, if you hadn’t dumped me, I would’ve ended up strung along, living a life centred on yours like your lapdog.”

And there it was.

She knew he would bring this up if they ever met again. No matter how many times they’d fought about this, those five months after his grandmother’s death, it still stung. It still bubbled up that rage in her chest, that sharp pain lodged in her chest that made it hard to breathe sometimes. The desire to punch him in his damn face was strong. There was nothing more infuriating than Lance having the nerve to act like she was some kind of selfish evil troll who’d forced him to make some sacrifices in his life for her. Because as far as she was concerned, everything that had happened to destroy their relationship had been his _and only his_ fault.

“You are unbelievable.” She snorted derisively, folding her arms in front of her chest. “And here I mistakenly thought that the ten years I spent avoiding you hadn’t been necessary. I guess I proved my initial perceptions correct. I’m glad I made the right choice to break up with you when you ruined our relationship, you jackass.”

“Look. I didn’t come here to fight with you about this again.” Lance exhaled slowly, though his eyes glinted with long forgotten fury. “And especially not about things you have ass backwards.”

It was just like him to pick a fight and then try to take the high road as if he’d done nothing wrong.

She rolled her eyes with an exasperated scoff. “Typical Lance. Head so far up his ass he’s lost touch with reality.”

“Typical Katie. Cares about no one’s feelings or life but her own. Coldhearted. Coldblooded,” Lance retorted cruelly.

“You know damn well that’s not true!”

“You’re exactly the same cold and heartless person you’ve always been. Completely selfish, stubborn as hell, treated me like shit, and then dumped me and tried to pin the blame on me. I’m just mad it took me so many years to realise it.”

“You know what, Lance? Fuck you!” She shouted at him, completely fed up and fuming. She’d been an outstanding girlfriend throughout, always put aside her discomfort for him, even when he’d become the boyfriend of nightmares. “Go ahead and keep believing whatever the fuck you want in that empty bobblehead of yours! You have a lot of nerve saying some bullshit like that as if it’s my fault you were a pathetic, aimless idiot with no future goals who thought it would be a good idea to let your girlfriend’s future dictate your life. Why the hell would I want to stay with someone like that?! Why would anyone?!”

Lance’s eyes shone with complete disgust. “No, _you_ know what? Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, _thank you_ , Katie, for dumping me. It’s bad enough I wasted those years on our relationship, but at least I didn’t end up making the biggest mistake of my life devoting myself to someone like you!”

That blow _hurt_ , and Pidge closed her eyes for a second, letting out a shuddering breath and forcing the twisting pain from his callous words to become fuel for her anger instead. She’d made herself stop crying over him years ago. No way in hell would she ever cry about Lance again.

“You know, I was really hoping by now you could _grow the fuck up_ and get over it!”

“You think anyone would be able to forget some fucked up break up like that?!”

“Yes, Lance! By now, most people would.”

“See? _Heartless_ ,” he hissed. “I’m not a robot, Katie! What you did to me hurt, okay? And it still hurts all these years later, _especially_ with you acting like it was absolutely nothing!”

“I said nothing anyone else wouldn’t say! It was your decision to blow it all out of proportion.”

“Goddamn… I hope to God I don’t end up seeing you anymore during this wedding,” Lance snarled through grit teeth.

“I should be so lucky,” she shot back.

Someone loudly cleared their throat nearby, and when Pidge turned to face said person—a fuming Allura actually—she noticed the small cluster of people in the area staring at them, some in shock, others in disgust, while a few looked mildly entertained. Allura looked peeved though, and Pidge licked her lips nervously while Lance also clammed up, suddenly all too aware of the awkward disruption of the party they’d caused with their argument. It was unbelievably embarrassing; her cheeks flushed hot, and Pidge realised they’d fucked up when Allura approached them both, all graceful as if nothing was amiss, though her tight smile promised retribution if they didn’t stop.

“Is there a problem here?” Allura asked, her accent sounding sharper, more menacing and her eyes shining in a thinly veiled threat. “This is supposed to be a fun event for people to get to know each other. I suggest, instead of conversing with _old_ acquaintances, you both find someone _new_ to talk to. Prevents situations like this.”

“Don’t worry. Won’t be revisiting conversation with _her_ again…” Lance grumbled, brushing past Pidge and walking away towards where the ditzy woman had gone.

It took a couple seconds before people stopped staring at the spectacle, but eventually their little scene was forgotten, and they returned to their own conversations.

“So… care to explain all that fighting?” Allura started with sigh, brows furrowed as she looked between Pidge and where Lance had left. “You’re the best man. I kind of need you to keep a level head. And I need you focused for the wedding. That’s not going to be an issue for you, is it?”

Pidge scrubbed a hand through her hair with a tired sigh. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to disturb the guests. I just… he makes me so mad and I wasn’t expecting to see him so suddenly and it was just… _urgh_. I can’t stand him.”

“Yeah… I was updated by Keith a while ago about your little… relationship issue.” Allura slung a sympathetic arm around her shoulders and guided her towards a beach bar further away. They strolled through the sand at a leisurely pace, though occasionally Allura would apologise to some staring guests for the earlier noise. “I know exes and breakups can be messy, especially when you’re in the same friend group. Had one myself years ago, and he’s one of Shiro’s closest friends so that’s awkward enough as is, but you can’t let your drama seep out everywhere.”

“I wasn’t trying to. But Lance is the only one who really knows how to hit my weak spots. And he’s targeted them every time we’ve fought.”

“I’m sure Lance would probably say the same of you. Just try to avoid talking to each other at all if you can for the time being.” Allura gave her a gentle pat on the back with the clipboard in her hand. “Just drink a little, enjoy the quieter areas of the beach, and meet new people, okay? I don’t want to keep dealing with annoying complaining guests. There are enough things to worry about as is. Plus this wedding has to be _perfect_ for our friends. And for me. I’m up for a promotion in my agency, which I’m a shoe-in for if I can make this a successful wedding. I know technically you both are in the wedding party, but you know—”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll try not to make your life more difficult. It’s not like we’ll end up fist fighting and crashing into the cake or something. I have _some_ self-control.” Pidge assured her, taking a deep breath through her nose and let it out slowly, through her mouth. “I’ll just, like, spend my time documenting the craziest shit I’ve seen at this wedding or something. Like that woman wearing Louboutin’s in the sand.”

They stopped near another emptier beach bar. Allura looked discreetly over her shoulder over where Pidge was jutting her chin towards and laughed quietly under her breath when she found the woman too.

“I’m simultaneously amazed and horrified.” She plopped Pidge at one of the stools at the bar and smiled at the old bartender who was finishing up someone else’s drink. “Honey Jack with cranberry juice and a dash of lime. Hopefully something else crazy will happen because right now, you and Lance are occupying the top of the list.”

“Right.”

Pidge set her drink on the counter and slumped against it, disappointed with the start to her mini vacation. A day that should have been exciting ended up being emotionally vexing and knowing Lance was somewhere around seriously dampened her mood.

“Don’t sweat it. I’m sure that now that you guys have gotten whatever fight you needed out of the way, everything will calm down.”

With any luck, Pidge really wouldn’t see him the rest of the wedding programme and only during the actual ceremony.

 

…

 

“Aww. Leaving already?”

Pidge glanced back down at the bed where the brown eyed bartender was reclining lazily, arms behind his head as he watched her pull back on her underwear. As much as she needed to loosen up after the unpleasant earlier encounter, she wasn’t particularly in favour of sticking around, especially since his housemates would return soon. They had a seven year difference apparently, and he was still in grad school for business which did admittedly give her pause, but when it came down to it, she actually wasn’t that picky as far as a hookup went. He was actually perfect because there was no way she’d form any sort of attachment to him since they had absolutely nothing in common that could make her interested in him. Plus he somewhat knew what he was doing and it’d been relaxing enough. She’d had better, she’d had worse.

“I have to get back.” Pidge tugged up her sundress, pulling the straps in place before shifting to check her face in the mirror on his desk. She had a healthy glow to her cheeks that probably wouldn’t go away anytime soon since she’d actually gotten her orgasm. Other than her mussed hair, which she ran her hand through trying to fix up a bit, there was nothing particularly incriminating. “Have to be available for the groom if he needs me.”

She wanted to contact Keith again now that the party was likely over. See if he had time to meet up. When she checked the time on her phone, she realised she’d been at this place for a couple hours. And while it wasn’t that late, Pidge really did just want to drown in that perfect bed and drift off to a hopefully peaceful sleep. And she had to test out her Jacuzzi tub too.

“You’re not like… the bride of this wedding, are you? I don’t want to make _that_ mistake again.”

“Trust me,” she said in amusement as she slipped on her sandals, “there’s no way you’d make that kind of mistake for _this_ wedding.”

He looked confused, but didn’t ask further questions. The bartender yawned in his hand, and as he rolled onto his back, the rumpled covers shifted as he moved and just barely covered his dick. She debated sticking around a little longer for one more round.

“When can I see you again?”

She shrugged. “You probably won’t. But I did have some fun.”

He waved her off lazily, and she grabbed her satchel from his doorknob as she made her way down the stairs and out of the house. She wasn’t close to the Kogane/Shirogane wedding area, but she was still by the sandy shores, so if she just followed it all the way down, she’d get to the private rented beach. Plus it was illuminated, so safe enough for people to walk along at night.

The sky was dark and glittering, and Pidge took off her sandals for her leisurely stroll along the sand. Though the water wasn’t the warmest, she did enjoy the way gentle tendrils would just lightly coat her feet before drifting back into the ocean. It cleaned off the clinging sand every time which she appreciated. She was partially irritated by the breeze blowing sand crystals in her hair though.

Overall, Pidge definitely liked the calm of the beach at night and the comfort from her fellow night owls jogging along the beach or taking walks with SOs. The beach during the day was a scorching hot nightmare, but she rather enjoyed the subdued ambiance late at night, when there were few people, the sand was decidedly cooler and the only background noise was the consistent crashing of the gentle waves. She used the peace of the environment to pick up random seashells with cool shapes while trying to sort out her thoughts.

It reminded her of the summer Lance whisked her away on a romantic beach getaway for the week of his twenty-first. They’d spent days and nights lazing about in a gorgeous, tiny bungalow by the waterfront, entwined in each other’s arms, needing no one’s company but their own. Like a passionate honeymoon. They’d returned completely sated and blissed out and so lost in their fantasy of their perfect romance. She distinctly remembered being on cloud nine for months afterwards.

Her chest grew a little tight at the memory of the sheer amount of love they’d had between them. They were the ones who everyone had thought would make it. 

And they didn’t.

Sometimes she wondered if part of her was still upset about it deep down because all of it had been so out of her control. They _could have_ made it, had Lance not started impeding her from living her own life.

Having some random sex wasn’t enough to really take her mind off of the fact that things with Lance were outrageously bad in a way she’d never expected. Pidge wasn’t dumb. She hadn’t expected them to be buddy-buddy or recreate the same friendship they’d shared growing up—what still hurt her most after all these years—but she’d thought maybe they’d be able to handle general conversation. Instead, Lance had to regress into full jackass and antagonise her when she hadn’t done anything to him.

When she reached the rented stretch of the beach, mostly empty now save for a handful of guests still chatting around one of the fancy fire pit bonfires, Pidge texted Keith to let him know if he had time to hang she was back now. And just because she still felt bad, she texted Allura another apology. And finally, she left Hunk a message that she’d run into Lance and it was as bad as he’d suspected it might be. And that she was mad he’d been updating Lance on her life.

(Ignoring the fact that he’d given her some updates on Lance’s).

But at least she had something great to look forward to: a hot bath and the kind of bed that would grant her fantastic dreams. Maybe the other guest who already moved in would also be there and Pidge could chat with her.

By the time she trudged up the steps of her condo, Pidge was feeling more enthusiastic about this little beach getaway. She pushed open the door and practically skipped in, already anticipating checking out the stocked liquor and grabbing a bottle of white wine to relax with in the tub. Hell, she’d forgo the glass even. Cliché, maybe, but she’d always wanted to try it and her place at home was not furnished with an actual tub.

“Perfect plan, Pidge,” she hummed, remembering Keith had told her there was an assortment of bubble bath and bath bomb stuff in the armoire of the bathroom.

There was movement out of the corner of her eye as she walked past the sitting area and she almost screamed at the surprise. When she snapped her gaze towards the kitchen, she was legitimately shocked to see Lance, shirtless, filling a glass with ice from the fridge. He paused in his task, blinking like he couldn’t believe he was seeing her.

“Oh hell no…” she said under her breath.

Lance slammed the glass on the counter, gripping the edge as he turned to face her. “Don’t tell me _you’re_ staying here too?”

“ _Too_?!”

“Lance!” the ditzy woman’s high pitched, obnoxious giggle came from further down the hall, and she sauntered out into the kitchen wearing Lance’s too big for her shirt. “What’s taking you so… oh… It’s her again. Does she live here too?”

“Of all the damn coincidences.” Lance sighed in serious fatigue. “Could have ended up housed with _anyone_ , and yet… I end up stuck with the world’s most cantankerous bi—”

“Finish that sentence. I dare you.” She threatened, tossing her own satchel on the counter as she walked forward with narrowed eyes. “I just wanted to enjoy this vacation, but there’s no way that will ever happen if I have to spend it near you! Who the fuck wants to end up having to see their awful ex every day at an event that’s supposed to be _happy_?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I’m the awful one for sure. The one who dumped their partner over something that made no sense.”

“Can you stop constantly picking fights with me? I just want this horrible day to end already, and I don’t need your pissy attitude making it any worse!”

“I wasn’t picking a fight. If you’re interpreting my comments that way—truthful comments about our relationship, by the way—maybe you should examine why.”

“Lance, you can be upset about whatever the hell you want, but quit acting as if I didn’t _actually_ give you a reason why! Just because it wasn’t the reason you would want, doesn’t make it any less valid!”

“You couldn’t even stick to your ‘reasons’. If you want to keep pushing that narrative, that’s fine. But I’m not going to listen to this crap when you can’t even admit you were lying to yourself and lying to me!”

“Oh my God…” Pidge huffed out a laugh and gripped the hair at her crown, partially exhausted, partially incredulous, partially annoyed. “For the last time, I wasn’t _lying_! I wanted my own life. People have moments of weakness, you know?! You were my first love, Lance, and one of my best friends. I can’t help that I was emotional over you! I can’t help that it was hard to let go!”

“Best friend and first love clearly didn’t mean shit to you! You shat all over our relationship like it didn’t matter!” Lance snapped, voice rising angrily. “Katie, you broke my heart. And it took me years to get over it, and you act like you don’t even care! You can’t seriously expect me to be okay with you after all that.”

Pidge vaguely heard the front door shut and realised the ditzy woman was gone, having left Lance’s shirt on one of the couch arms.

“I cared more than you can imagine, Lance. But holy shit! I was _twenty-one_ , just graduated, hadn’t even figured out my hopeful career, hadn’t _lived a life_ , and you were thinking about crazy shit like marriage. Asking me to commit when you know I needed some time was selfish! Me wanting space was not, and you know it!”

“So maybe I was jumping the gun. I can own up to the fact that I was moving fast, but there was no reason for you to react that way, to say that shit to me, like our relationship sickened you so much. I don’t care how mad you were! How could you ever think treating someone who’d been in your life for so long like that was okay?!”

“Nothing was getting through your head because you wouldn’t listen to me!” She shouted. “You were my first _everything_. I needed a chance to know what life was like outside of just you. I wasn’t wrong, Lance!”

“I gave up years of _my_ life for you, so _you_ could be happy and comfortable, but when it came down to it you’d never do the same for me. And that will always hurt! I wouldn’t have even given a fuck if you just said no, but for fuck’s sake! We’d known each other for years and you were so important to me—I have never in any of the years of my life loved anyone the way I loved you—but you had no qualms ripping my heart out of my chest.”

“You are such an overdramatic idiot! I had nothing to do with the decisions you made for your life. You stuck around for _you_. And I said I was sorry, okay?”

“Yeah, because some insincere apology is going to make up for destroying a perfect relationship.”

“ _Perfect_?” She scoffed incredulously, and when his eyes flared angrily, it only served to remind her why the ten year distance had been the best option for them to take. How many times had they fought about this until their voices were hoarse? How could he still believe they’d been perfect when she’d told him what the problem was? She couldn’t stand the way he switched facts and forgot others to make her out to be the villain. There was nothing more annoying. “You’re fucking insane. I’m apologising for hurting your sad little feelings, but I have nothing else to be sorry for.”

“Keep your bullshit apology! I know you don’t mean it, and I don’t want it.”

“You’re right. I don’t mean it because again: I did nothing wrong. You have no reason to be angry because you were the one being completely unreasonable!”

He rubbed his temples in frustration and for a second, she could have sworn she caught a gleam of a pained disappointment in his eyes. But it was very quickly masked by a fiery, deep seated anger in his scorching blue gaze.

“You are the most infuriating person I have ever met,” he said, voice low and even.

Her skin prickled. “Feeling’s mutual.”

“We’re very obviously going to kill each other if we’re in the same vicinity. So compromise. How about you keep to your own damn corner of this condo, and I’ll keep to mine. And when the wedding is over, we’ll go back to pretending the other doesn’t exist, because I’m actually tired of this.”

 “ _Great_.” She leaned over the counter, her lip curled in a sneer as she responded in a patronising tone. “Fine by me.”

“ _Fine_ ,” he growled, gaze levelled on her.

Pidge glowered at him, her angry flush making her neck feel hot. Both their breathing was a little loud, eyes locked in a showdown that was slowly flustering her. His eyes still had a habit of sucking people in, making them feel like they were the only one in his world, even with burning anger, and now was no exception.

She chewed on her lower lip, odd heat trailing down her back when Lance’s gaze flicked down to her mouth. Her own gaze drifted down to the hard planes of his naked chest, the cut of his biceps, veins on his forearm… long fingers of the hand drumming slowly on the counter. Pidge exhaled haltingly, realising exactly what was about to happen if she didn’t get the fuck away from him. _Now_.

Pidge turned away abruptly with a hard swallow, snatching up her bag and storming to her room, ignoring the weird coiling of her stomach. It was bad enough that she was fighting with him immediately after reuniting, but she absolutely did not want this to turn like those five months before she’d moved away for her masters, where all they would do was fight and then end up fucking. It had wrecked their whole friend group, made everyone uncomfortable, and she still frequently apologised to Hunk and Shay for screwing up their wedding with all the fucked up tension surrounding her and Lance because of their unresolved issues.

(And for getting caught in the groomsmen dressing room).

But most importantly, it had destroyed Pidge, chipped a part of her away each time she found herself in Lance’s bed again after they’d mercilessly torn each other apart. Especially when she’d known and he’d known that he had a sort of girlfriend and that she was somewhat seeing someone too. And especially when she’d known that neither of them wanted to take the steps to fix them.

It’d taken Keith slapping some sense into her for her to realise she was clinging to hope of a resurgence of their relationship that would never happen because of all the anger and hurt feelings between them. That the more she refused to let him go, the harder it would be to learn how to get over him, the more it would hurt. She’d cut contact cold turkey, refused to entertain his existence anymore, but it’d taken her the better part of two years before he no longer clung to every corner of her mind, and even then that hope never truly left her.

And she’d felt she was about to fall right back into the same habit.

It _infuriated_ her. Years later and she still had no self-control around him, still couldn’t fight the pull they’d always had towards each other, still couldn’t talk to him face-to-face without her body reacting to his presence, like he had some kind of sick hold over her that she couldn’t truly escape, no matter how much time had passed.

And she _hated_ it.

“Ten _fucking_ years!” she shouted, flinging her sandals off furiously when she burst in her room, and not even caring when one hit the wall and sprinkled errant sand grains on it. Hot tears prickled behind her eyes in sheer frustration. “Ten years and it’s still the same. _For fuck’s sake_!”

She sent Keith about a million texts detailing her surprise at finding Lance even here so early in the first place, her absolute distress over the fact that they would have to share this condo and live in harmony while doing it, and her exact fury, with _very_ colourful language, over the ensuing fights they’d had. Keith had to know something about Lance being here. And if he didn’t, he had to know how to fix it up, because she refused— _refused_ —to be anywhere around him.

For the sake of her own sanity, she and Lance really did have to stay far, _far_ away from each other. Even if her chest felt tight over the fact that they still hadn’t moved on from the crap way their relationship had ended. Even if she’d been hoping that maybe meeting him again, they could start over or maybe take the tentative steps to being friends again, she’d been wrong. Distance was the key. And lots of it.

Some way or another, Pidge always ended up marching to the beat of his drum, but she’d vowed to herself that she would never backslide again.

And she would stick to it.


End file.
